Bloody Traffic!

I forgot to mention the BLOODY traffic in Agra while I was there. I almost got run over by a camel! I haven't been around camels in a bit so I was mighty surprised when its big gawky maw was all pushed up in me face! All covered with spit it was and that bugger was farting the entire time he passed me.

That so unnerved me I stepped back into the street and a stampede of Brahman bulls almost over ran me. This was followed by a crush of Tuk Tuk's (auto rickshaws) what was all bunched up behind the cattle. Then came the motorbikes, the goats, the pigs and a bloody elephant!

These streets in Delhi aren't meant for transportation they're a bloody zoo! This all happened during the day when I have a delicate constitution mind you. All that sun and traffic gave my stomach a turn it did.

I was very happy to get on the train to Agra later on in the day. Night time in Agra was lovely. A deathly pall of smog and smoke descended on the train platform where I was waiting. It invigorated me lungs and reminded me of home.

Uh-oh! Bucky's at the door.

- Aimless

I'm Baaaaaaaaaccccckkkkk...

So I got back from me excursion all over northern India these past two weeks. The place has changed quite a bit in the past few centuries. Sounds like I missed a bit of fun in all that time. The were a bunch of chaps named Mughals what came down from Persia and started all kinds of wars… nothing like a good war to stir the old demon spirit.

So me searchers were a right bunch of conjuring they were. They kept right behind that Sidious chap the whole time and he never was the wiser. I caught up to him in Delhi, actually old Delhi, and shadowed him for the whole day. The funny thing was he seemed more interested in the sights than engaging in any sort of evil machinations.

He stopped off at this place called Humayan’s tomb to start. I was all excited because I haven’t had a nice cup of tea in a tomb in ages and I figured I’d indulge meself when he wasn’t looking. Them there Mughals don’t make proper tombs. They’re all clean and tall and beautiful. It’s very disconcerting. You’d think for a race what spread so much fire and bloodshed they’d have a more visionary outlook on proper tomb building. There weren’t a bat or so much as a spider in the whole place!

Next this Sidious bloke stops at the Taj Mahal. Now I maybe a demon and all, but I know something what should be appreciated no matter what side of the good versus evil fence you fall on. That Shah Jahan who had this here edifice built had some inspiration I’ll tell you. I’m not much into beautiful myself. I like dark and dreary, ugly and freaky, terrible and horrific, but this here Taj Mahal took me breath away.

I almost lost Sidious because I was so taken. I was so busy gawking over this amazing bit of architecture that I didn’t see him saunter out the main gate. Fortunately me searchers pointed me in the right direction and I was back on his tail.

After the Taj he stopped at a place called the Red Fort. This place was a bit more to my liking as there were Indian soldiers with machine guns at the doors and a general aura of war around the place… it being a fort and all.

They had a lovely museum dedicated to the history of India. I didn’t realize the British had been so busy in these parts. It sounds like they had a lovely time subjugating the little brown monkey boys. It seems like they had some good times oppressing the masses for near on two hundred years. I got’s to hand it to them Brits. They always was best at subjugatin’.

At this point Sidious locked himself up in a hotel for a couple of days in a place called Jaipur. I just meandered around the back ways a bit and bided my time until he was on the move again.

I’m a bit bushed from all this traveling so I’ll post the rest of me journal tomorrow. I’ve gots to call Old Mal too.

- Aimless

Searchers...

I whipped me up a nice little batch of searchers the other day. Put 'em together with spit, ichor and nine day old insect carcasses. A right handsome lot if I don’t say so meself. They’s all legs and pinchers and fangs and really big probosci.

I let them go just this morning and it looks like that Sidious chap has left Bangalore. The searchers are all headed north so I guess I’ve got’s to too. That means I need to ditch this here laptop with someone I can trust for a couple of weeks.

I ran into a real mangy black hearted mongrel named Spit. Me and old Spit got on real good and he brought me to his master. Turns out that little brown fella was just as vile his pooch and was right friendly to the idea of helping me out.

Of course I thought he might have ideas about selling me stuff so I convinced him with a little gold and a little demon magic that might not be such a good idea.

Anyway I probably won’t be updating this here blog for a couple of weeks. I know old Mal will be disappointed, because we was talking over the phone the other day and he said he was enjoying me exploits. HI MAL!!!

- Aimless

A Plan

I’m one confused bugger I is… I’ve been creeping about this here Bangalore rolling out all what’s happened to me in me head, but can’t make no sense of it. I’ve been trying to track down this here Sidious, but he’s gone to ground real good. I haven’t been in this part of the world for a few centuries so I don’t have me any contacts of note anymore.

I did manage to track down Sidious's little messenger boy. He screamed a right long time, but never gave up any information. I found it difficult to believe that he could be afraid of someone more than me. I even changed into me full blooded demon suit. Of course that there was a strategic mistake, because it so vexed the little fellah he expired with a busted heart. Pah!!!

The thing that keeps coming back to me head was something Michael said. It was something about an Animostiroth. Who the bloody hell is Animostiroth? Is he from one of the rings out past the third ring of hell? I never did go out much that way. I heard the rats own the seventh ring and I hate rats. Is this bloke a new player?

If he’s got the connections and/or power to send agents into the real worlds then he’s definitely a force to be reckoned with. Me dilemma is do I report all this back to Tres. He’s the bloody fool that sent me out here in the first place and I’m not sure if he set me up.

I could report right back to Lucky, but old Luke don’t like it much when you break the chain of command. I’ve never made that one angry and I never plan to. He’s got a right sharp temper he does.

I guess I’ll keep looking for Sidious. Maybe I’ll whip me up some searchers. I’ll use that little messenger’s blood as tracking material. That’s it! Now I got me a plan!

- Aimless

Just like that...

So there I was all scrunched up above the door, squeezing myself into the shadows and in walks the archangel Michael, four Special Forces guardian angels and some bureaucratic Admin type who looked as jittery as a jumbling jellyfish.

Michael snapped his fingers and me darkness spell was wiped out as the torches sprang to life. Not one of these blokes had a weapon drawn, but I’d have bet me foul mother’s soul they was packin’ some serious energy spells. Sidious’s room weren’t very big and didn’t have no furnishings except for the throne opposite the door. They knew real quick the room was empty.

Michael said to his mates, “That’s odd. I know I felt a presence at the top of the stairs and it felt like a detention dweller to me.”

A big blonde, blue eyed, Captain American type Guardian Angel grunted, “I felt it to. Maybe it teleported out.”

Michael held up his perfect white hand and a four foot round magical screen of translucent blue energy formed a yard in front of him, “Let’s see what shows up on the screen.”

When he moved his hand the screen moved with it. A red glow with some ancient demonic floating white script centered in it hovered around the throne.

“See that?” That’s an apparition spell… no teleportation spell though,” Michael observed.

The blonde bugger says, “Well where is it? If you’re going to have an apparition spell shouldn’t there be an apparition?”

The bureaucratic type spoke up, “You’re assuming it was meant for us.”

Old blonde hair says, “Well if it wasn’t meant for us Simon who was it meant for.”

I swear to an angel they all turned around and looked up in my direction. Maybe it was because it was the only spot in the room they hadn’t looked at or maybe I let me aura drag. All I know is I was feeling real out numbered by this lot. I dropped to the ground and smiled like that old chesire cat.

Simon the bureaucrat pointed at me, “Him.”

“Cheers mates. Nice night for a stroll.”

Not a single one smiled and the Special Forces type fanned out to me sides. At least I had the door to my back.

Michael smiled and said, “My, my, aren’t you out of your element.”

“I got a pass mate. Special dispensation for good behavior,” I lied.

That whole gaggle laughed at that and then Michael says, “So who was your contact?”

Now since that monkey boy Sidious obviously intended me no good I had no problem giving him up, “His name was Sidious. I was sent here to meet him to discuss the possibility of there being second ringers about, but me thinks it was a setup with you blokes being the set and the up.”

Michael stared at me all intense like working something out in that perfect angelic head of his. I suppose the monkey boys and girls would find him mind numbingly handsome with his coal black shoulder length hair, chiseled features and expressive dark eyes. Personally I can’t get on about anyone that doesn’t have no scales at all.

“Gentlemen I do believe he’s telling the truth.”

The blonde bugger asks, “A demon telling the truth? Why?”

“Because he was obviously set up… think about it. We got that tip about Animonstiroth out of the blue by one of Sidious’s own people. They obviously wanted Aimless here to run into us.”

Now that set me hackles to dancing again because I never told Mr. Lovely my name.

Old blonde and blue eyed asks, “How do you know he isn’t working with Sidious?”

Michael just smiled and said, “Time and again our intelligence has revealed that Animonstiroth only works with free agents. I happen to know that Aimless here works for Lucifer.”

It made me bloody nervous that old demon slayer knew so much about the inner workings of detention. I sure would have liked to know how he knew so much about me!

Then he says like it’s the time of day, “You may go Aimless.”

Just like that he says it! I almost fell over. Here I was expecting to be carved up like a turkey on holiday and just like that Michael gives me leave!

“You wouldn’t stab a demon in the back would you mate?”

Michael replied, “Not my style.”

“Well then I’ll just be moseying along. You gents have a good night then.”

I turned and walked out of the mountain like it was the local pub and left the Admin types to their schemes. Bloody strange night it was. Bloody strange goings on… I got some thinking to do. There’s treachery, conspiracy and diabolical plans within plans swirling about this here blue ball… it kind of feels like home.

- Aimless

Bush Wacked!

By the dark lord's beard there's going to be some serious hell to pay when I get back to Tres...

I went to the Sidious Mountain last night. Me instincts are pretty damn good and I smelled a trap all the way up those rocky steps. I was wishing I had more than me trusty razor with me... maybe a sword of damnation, or an ax o' blaze, or a bow what fired imps, or an Uzi... bloody hell more than me little nasty bit of a razor.

I crept up them stairs using me best creeping skills. There was only a single path carved into the mountain so it's not like I could sneak in the back door. At the top of the stairs was a doorway carved into the living rock. It was decorated with fearsome figures of demonic gods and nameless horrors feasting on human flesh... it was actually quite lovely.

As I descended into the bowels of the mountain the air became rank with the perfume of death. It was a welcome relief from all that monkey boy smell. It was also quiet... too quiet. I expected to hear screams of torture or the scuttle of little claws on stone but there was nothing. Torches were placed in sconces what lined the wall which gave the place an eerie light that reminded me of home.

Down I went into the depths of this rocky abode and all the while me hackles is standing up and doing a tango along me spine. I couldn’t take it any more and I morphed out of me monkey boy outfit into me full demon corpus. It felt good to be in me own skin. I goes from about five foot six inches to over seven feet tall when I’m in me own body which is the way I likes it.

I loped into what was obviously the main chamber of Sidious’s little hell house. I found him sitting on a rocky throne in the back of the room which was devoid of furnishings. The torches that lined the walls cast a wonderful evil light to this impressive looking monkey boy. He appeared to be one of them dark skinned Indian types of humans, but was much larger than most. His eyes were deep set and soulless, his large head was shaved bare and his massive, muscular upper frame was coated in oil. A longish broad nose centered a face which was a bare extension of his skull. He was a rather good looking fella I thought.

Thin lips cracked what might have been a smile or a sneer, I’m not sure which, and he says to me, “So Aimless Bottlebottom finally we meet.”

“Nice place you got here Sidious. It’s a bit bare of furnishings, but I’m partial to rock me-self,” I says to him.

“I didn’t summon you here to discuss interior decorating. There are schemes in motion, plans of dire consequence.”

“And that would be why I can’t find no second ringers and only Administration types?”

That smile got nasty and he responded with just one word, “Precisely,” and then he winked out. He winked out!

“Bloody hell!!!!” I says to me-self. It was only a bloody apparition and here I was at a cul-de-sac with only one way out and what do I hear coming down that exit? Administration!

I could feel their bloody auras like a punch to the gut. It felt like there had to be half a dozen of ‘em and they was strong. I was guessing Michael was with them and that was one Archangel I didn’t want to dance with.

I looked all around, but there was no other exit, secret or otherwise and no place to hide. I sucked up me Aura real tight and executed me darkness spell. Then I launched me-self to the ceiling and scrunched real tight up into a corner near the door.

Then they came in…

Oooops! Gotta go! I’ll tell the rest of me adventure tomorrow.

- Aimless

Cozy burrow

Now the thing about these here locals is that they all tend to live right next to each other. They don’t much care for being alone. I’ve discovered it’s much like the old days. They’s all bunched up real tight in the cities, but no one lives in the countryside. I guess it ain’t like back in the states where everybody owns a gun or some sort of WMD so they feels safe to be alone.

Now this here Sidious chap he’s a clever bloke. He’s got himself all squirreled away in one of these here mountains what just pops up out of the landscape. Got a right cozy little burrow he does drilled right down into this rocky bit. I don’t much like the thought of going in there, there being only one exit and all, but a demon’s got to do what a demon’s got to do.

I’m supposed to meet him tonight to have what he calls a “strategic planning” session. I’ve started building up a couple of my best combat spells up just in case this chap’s planning session is a ruse for something a bit more violent. I think a dozen or so should cover me arse in case something foul is a foot.

I’m leaving early today so I can do a little reconnoitering… not that I don’t trust a chap named Sidious…

- Aimless

I spent much of me weekend skulking about Bangalore with me radar turned up to 11. I thought New York was bad, but this place never gets quiet. These here Indian sort of monkey boys are working at something day and night and I don't see how I'm supposed to execute anything approaching a proper skulk.

I got a pretty good handle on me way around this here warren of a city. I've got some right pretty dark spots to retreat to, but they're hard to come by. There's not an inch of this city that doesn't have someone living in it. Fortunately there's a couple of underground spaces no one's discovered yet.

I think I'm about ready to meet this Sidious chap. I'll be bringing me beloved razor along with me. Like I said before, I dont' have a trusting nature.

- Aimless